Are We Out Of Our Minds?
Since my first couple of posts, everything has been pretty positive and gung ho. But I promised to be open and honest, real truth, real stories, and that is what I am going to do.
Overall everything has been positive, and we are completely committed and are doing everything we can to make our dream of full time travel come true as soon as possible. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have moments of doubt.
There have been times, even since our original blog post where I have thought, and even said out loud, "are we out of our minds, what were we thinking?”. There have been multiple reasons driving this.
Can we all, 3 adults, four dogs, and a cat, live in a 40’ foot RV without killing each other? My mother-in-law already lives with us, but she has her own spot in our finished basement. We are still able to have our own space and privacy. That will all change.
While we will be boondocking and camping by ourselves as much as possible, there will be many times when we will be in campgrounds/trailer parks, especially on the east coast until we get further out west. Will I be miserable with people right on top of us and in a busier place?
What if we end up hating it? What if RV living isn’t for us? What if we end up getting sick of traveling after a few months?
Things are going well, do we want to change and put it all at potential risk?
One of my biggest fears is that I am being pollyannish. Overly thinking about the positives of being a full-time traveler, and not taking into account the negatives as much as I should. Will the reality of the trip ever live up to my expectations? I am also worried that I am running from my problems and running to what I think is a brighter future while not remembering that unless resolved my problems will come with me.
Whenever this happens I end up thinking about the same key points:
Nothing says that we can’t change our mind, we don’t have to and most likely won’t do this forever. At some point, we will settle down again. Worst case scenario is that we can find somewhere permanent to live and buy or rent a home sooner rather than later. And while we like where we live, it wouldn’t be the end of the world to go somewhere new.
None of our original reasons for us wanting to go have changed. We want to live our lives now not later, and I remember the joy that we get from traveling and exploring.
I am confident that we have thought of and considered the negatives, and at least at this point, believe that the positives outweigh the negatives.
I am working on my problems already, and while still a work in progress, should continue to get better, especially if my mindset is in an even better place from traveling.
Part of my issue ultimately is also driven by depression. While improved, it is something that I still deal with every day. Overall my mindset is positive and I’m moving forward, but it’s always laying there in wait, waiting to slap you in the face. Like when I was at the Dentist this past week and halfway through my cleaning the hygenist aks if I have kids. I say no and act like nothing even happened but inside it’s like a bomb went off. This ends up having an impact on your outlook. Depression has a tendency to inflate the negatives and make it easier to keep doing what you are doing and not want to change. I have to keep reminding myself about this and bring myself back to reality. Therapy has somewhat helped me to better do that.
Ultimately though, we both can’t wait to go and truthfully would love to leave sooner rather than later. The hardest part at this point isn’t deciding to go, but the waiting. It makes it difficult to be mindful and live in the present when we are always thinking about the future. It’s a fine line that we walk.
So onwards we go, and as I like to put it I am confident in my decisions because I have done my homework and have thought through it extensively, but reserve the right to change my mind.
Let’s see how it goes…
